I have once read that most men pursue happiness with such a breathless haste, that they hurry past it.
Throughout my whole life, I was most men; chasing happiness on the highway with a full throttle – like a mad Formula-1 driver; running in circles. Only to find myself back to where I started. Square one.
Whatever I decided to chase – whether it was career, sports, money or women, it felt as if something was missing. As if the pieces of the puzzle don’t actually fit together. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I found out this is a constant theme in the life of millenials. Almost every interesting person I knew was going through some kind of a quarter-life crisis.
We all wanted to be happy but we didn’t know what that meant or felt like.
Stephen King said that no one can tell what goes on in between the person you were and the person you become. That no one can chart that blue and lonely section of hell. There are no maps of the change. You just come out the other side . . . or you don’t.
This blog is about that blue and lonely section of hell. It is my desperate attempt to make sense of a bizarro world. To document a story with no climaxes and no heros. To extract lessons from experiences, that shouldn’t have happened in the first place.
But before you take the first step into this journey of self-discovery, you have to believe that you are enough. Even if it isn’t true. You have to believe that you are beautiful and worthy of love and magic and happiness. That you don’t need the thumbs-up on your lifestyle from strangers on the internet, or to get laid to feel like you’re the grandmaster ladies-man. Because the greatest love out there is loving oneself, everything else is negotiable.
Start right at the end.