Whore of Babylon

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7 years away from Amman. The city that witnessed my victories and defeats; mostly defeats.

And here we are, just like two S&M lovers who torture each other every night, trying to find romance. To find answers. But there are no answers.

I push. You pull. I climb up. You bring me down. I drum and you dance. I am under your spell. Running in your old streets like a mad dog.

A love-hate relationship.

A part of me was buried here, and this is why I probably keep coming back.

That part of me that believed in love and goodness and dreams. That part that kept me going for years . . before reality checked in.

Nostalgia and self-loathing. Those are my scars from you.

We never had a safe word.

 

“It is possible that longing for something is better than actually having it. Iā€™ve heard it said that satisfaction is the death of desire.”ā€” Hank Moody (David Duchovny), Californication, Season 3: The Land of Rape and Honey.

Kahuna

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